Simple Courage

“Are you sure you’re OK?” Terry asked. 

Sandra had just ordered her third martini. “Two olives,” she called over her shoulder to the server on her way back to the bar. 

“I’m not used to seeing you drink this much,” Terry said. “What’s going on?”

Sandra couldn’t hold it in any longer. She had never kept a secret from Terry for so long. She put her head down on the table and began to weep. 

Terry looked around before leaning over to comfort her friend. They had drawn some attention. “What happened?” she asked. 

“It’s Parker,” Terry confessed. “He’s a felon.” 

“What are you talking about?” Terry asked. 

“Last week he told me he embezzled a quarter million dollars from the place he works.” 

“What!?” Terry took a sip of her drink. “I knew he was up to something. Even with all that over time a first year accountant can’t make enough money to afford that car he was driving around.” 

“The first thing I said when he told me was he needs to get rid of the car and he refuses,” Sandra said. 

Terry got that look where she pursed her lips together and narrowed her eyes at Sandra. “So you broke up with him, right?” 

“I can’t,” Sandra said lifting her head up but still crying. “He needs me right now.” 

“Oh my god!” Terry shook her head. “He doesn’t need you. What he needs is a lawyer. He’s a criminal.” 

“He has a lawyer,” Sandra said. “I….” she stopped herself afraid to say the rest.

“You what?” Terry asked. 

Sandra said nothing and took a sip of the martini the server carefully placed before her. 

“You paid for his lawyer didn’t you?”

“I had to,” Sandra said. “All his bank accounts were tainted with the stolen money. The lawyer wouldn’t take a check from him.” 

“I don’t know if I want to hear any more of this,” Terry said. 

“I don’t know if I want to tell you anymore,” Sandra said bursting into tears again. “I’m so ashamed.”

“Aw sweetie, it’s OK,” Terry put her arm around Sandra. “At least you aren’t representing him yourself.” 

“I know I have to break up with him,” Sandra said. She was holding her phone looking at a slew of texts from Parker asking where she was. 

“You’re not going to do it now, over text are you?” Terry asked. 

“No,” Sandra sighed. “But I don’t think I can do it in person. Every time I see him he reels me back in….What are you doing?”

Terry was texting something from Sandra’s phone. 

“I’m telling him you’re with me,” Terry said. 

Sandra held out her hand for her phone.

“You’re not getting this back until tomorrow morning when you’re sober,” Terry said turning the phone off and putting it in her purse. 

The Fremont train pulled out of Embarcadero Station and headed under the bay through the Transbay Tube. Since it was Saturday morning the car was only half full and Sandra had a seat. She put her feet up on the bench facing her and leaned her head against the window. Her Kettle One hangover from the night before only made the prospect of the task at hand all the more daunting. She cried shamelessly in front of the four ladies sitting in the aisle across from her. Sandra did not need to understand Mandarin to know that she was the subject of their conversation. 

As the train raced out of the tunnel, making its way to West Oakland Station Sandra pulled out her phone and called Parker. She only had a few minutes to do her deed before the train ventured into the Oakland tube. This was part of her strategy. She wanted the call to be swift and to the point. She had been dating Parker for almost four years and they had done more than enough talking, especially in the past few weeks. 

His voice was tender when he answered. “Hi babe. You coming over?”

“No Parker, I’m not,” Sandra pulled all her strength out as the train stopped at West Oakland Station. 

“You want me to come over to your place?”

“No, I don’t. In fact I don’t want to see you at all,” Sandra said. “Ever.” 

There was silence on the other end.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way,” Sandra said. “But I just can’t be with you anymore.” 

“You told me you loved me,” Parker said, his voice cracking. “You said you would stay with me through all this.” 

“I do love you,” Sandra said. The tears were beginning to flow again. “Which is exactly why I can’t be with you anymore. I don’t want to love someone who does the things you do.” 

The train was pulling out of the station. It would be entering the next tunnel in a matter of minutes and she would lose cell service. 

“I have to go,” she whispered and disconnected the call. 

She knew it would be difficult for Parker to call her the rest of the ride home but she could still receive texts. And he could always start calling her later in the day. Her heart pounded with a fear she had never felt as she touched the little circled “i” next to his name and blocked him from calls and texts. It was such a simple act but it was the hardest thing she had ever done.